Thursday, April 25, 2013

What I've learned about Motherhood.

The longer I'm a mom, the more I realize I don't really know anything about motherhood.
The more I understand about me as a child...and the affect it has on me as a mother.

I realize a lot of things that I did not have and do not have now... and what I want to give my children.

I have to admit being a mom, I wish I had the support and help that I see a lot of people around me have. Don't get me wrong, I'm pretty independant and like my space. BUT once in a while, when I'm sick, tired... or just need a break... I'm jealous of those who have help.

Pregnant now with my fourth baby I can count the number of times probably on one hand the times we've left our kids to go on a date. We don't have a baby sitter... its just us. We've just made it part of our lives to take them everywhere with us. 
If the kids aren't with one of us, they are with the other.
Majority of the time I like it that way. I enjoy my family and know that it is just a season and try to savor every moment. We chose to be parents and we love it.

There are the few, emotional, needy moments I have that make me frustrated, hurt and jealous of moms that have THEIR moms readily available to help with their kids. I know life isn't fair, and do I blame them? no... every girl should have a supportive, helpful, encouraging, loving mom in their corner. The reality is... is that not everyone has that...and as unfair as it is... that's just life. Maybe being use to doing it on my own has made me hard and unsympathetic to people who get help on a daily basis and complain that it is too much. Maybe its because when I see moms that help their daughters who are moms it makes me sad that I don't have that kind love that I always wish I had. Maybe its because once in a while I want to be told I'm doing a good job. Maybe its because I want my kids to feel like they are #1 to someone other than their parents.

Maybe its just been on my mind too since we are about to have another and I realize its about to get a little harder. After giving birth to the last two babies we didn't have any meals delivered, someone to clean the house or run our errands. We just did it. and I'm proud of us for doing it.

I am sure my hormones are raging and already being an emotional person I am peaking right now.

I know this all sounds so negative... but all this to say I'm thankful to have a supportive and helpful husband, a God who gives me strength, grace and mercy and always provides... and a pen so I can write down how I want to be when my kids have kids!

so basically what I've learned is there is no perfect mom, no one has all the answers and everyone needs a little help, a little encouragement a little reminder that even though they are a mom... they are still someone's child. Inside every mom is a little girl who is just trying to figure it out as they go.


  1. I honestly didn't find this negative at all. Instead, I found this very powerful and very inspiring. You guys are incredible parents and you guys are doing what a lot of parents don't do - be there for them and they will love you even more later on in life. They will appreciate what you do for them and they will learn great values from the things you teach them on a daily basis - that family is very important. I found this article uplifting and that you are trying to give your kids the life you never had. It's incredible how two people who love their children as much as you do, who are able to be there for them when they need you. Keep up the amazing work, because I know it's notalways easy, but you can always look back and say you did a wonderful job at raising your children, and it being true.

    1. thank you so much for your encouragement!! i was really hesitant to post because I didn't want it to sound "pity me or woe is me" just more of a...this is how it is. I do hope for my kids that they see we made them a priority and we grow up being close :) Thank you again!

  2. Jeannie- you're doing so well with your children; they are very blessed to have you! & I don't have children/ I'm not married yet, but I can imagine the need for support- I was wondering, have you tried asking at church for anyone who wants to babysit? I'm 19, and I absolutely love babysitting, but often I'm afraid to ask parents if I can babysit their children once in a while so that they can go on dates, because I'm not sure if they would trust me/ want somebody else to look after their children. Thankfully, our pastor's wife asked me if I wanted to, and I was so thankful for the trust they had, and glad for the opportunity to serve in this way & also super glad to be with the children- 4 boys aged 1 to 7! I'm sure that a lot of younger people also want to babysit, but don't want to ask people. :) I am so very thankful for the way you really honestly just share your life as a wife/mother/daughter/woman with us, because it really makes me think about what sort of wife/mother I want to be, and I'm glad for the model I have in you :) I'm also super encouraged by the way you depend on and trust God through everything. Have a lovely Sunday!

    1. Esther, Thank you so much for your kind and encouraging words. I guess we are all learning along the way :))) and I am keeping an eye out for good babysitters!