Saturday, April 20, 2013

Every day is a new day

Last year we went on our first real vacation as a family. So this year we decided that we will use part of our tax return and force ourselves to take a vacation. What a novel idea... I don't know why we didn't do this sooner. Growing up we didn't really do family vacations....and if we did go somewhere, it was usually me and my sister making up games or discovering things on our own.
I want my kids to have a lot of good memories. Of mom and dad having fun with them and knowing that we made them a priority. That we took time off and made it just about us.... our family.

I'm sure other moms feel this way, but I often come to the end of the day feeling bad. Wishing I had been more patient, attentive, fun... the kind of mom that you dream of. The reality is... a lot of days (especially pregnant and nauseous) I feel like I'm on survival mode. 
I don't want to just survive. I want to thrive.
I often feel bad. I feel guilty. For not letting the kids help make dinner because it just faster that way. For not stopping what I'm doing to help my daughter draw the perfect dress on her princess she spent so long drawing. For not atleast TRYING to make good sound effects and have a battle with my son... or just get down on the ground and roll around with the little one.
 I let that guilt eat me up. I cry and then pray that my kids don't remember me as a grumpy, no fun mom. Then I realize I have another chance, another moment, another day..another night... to make things right, to do things right. To stop and listen, look, play, draw. battle dinosaurs... 
No mom is perfect. I know we often see moms that 'seem' perfect... but they are not. I promise.

With that said, I'm glad we took the week off to laugh, have fun, and relax... 
We already decided we shouldn't wait another year to do it again. 
And I have already decided I need to stop being such a control freak. 
let them be kids.
stop saying no so much.
and live.

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