perfection

this has been a weird week. 

I've felt kind of down, discouraged... my heart is happy and life is good, but I just felt..bleh. 

Wondering and pondering on things like why and how people can not want to grow, change. How people can be so easy and quick to judge, hurt and tear others down. Out of maliciousness, jealousy, ignorance or hurt. Whatever the reason it started making me think of why people in general expect perfection out of other people, but don't spend the time to better themselves.

from things like people leaving random mean comments like "you're ugly" to random people they don't even know on Instagram. To people who always point the finger and don't take responsibility. 

Why is it that we naturally are defensive and hurtful instead of being naturally humble, teachable and encouraging?

I feel like I have let these things effect who I am this week. Not on a big level, but second guessing things I would normally do without another thought. Thinking I shouldn't or can't do things and just wanting to quit. Wondering if I am doing what I should....

Today in church I was overcome with love, peace and a sense of who I am. Who I am called to be and a overwhelming feeling of "its ok".

People and circumstances do not dictate who I am. I am who I am because God made me a certain way, He called me to be and do something...and everything else, big or small, whether it effects me or not should not change my course.

does any of that make sense? I just think that we often get 'dirty' with everyone else junk and bad attitudes that it stifles our joy.

So I decided in myself today that I am who I am regardless.

I will be a good friend, even if you are not.

I will come on time, even if I know you will be late.

I am going to listen...even if I truly believe I am right.

I will be thoughtful, even if nobody knows

I will show up to your important things, even though you ditch mine.

I will laugh and be joyful, even if you have a permanent stink eye.

maybe it'll rub off.

and maybe the meanie negative arrows won't poke me anymore.

love you all and hope the ugliness of the world does not mask and dull the beautiful colors, brightness, wonderful smells, amazing songs that are out there to be enjoyed, lived and delighted in.

:) g'nite!

oh and just for fun. my kitty cat nails ( i don't like cats, but in light of all this i thought i'd show them some love too!)