Contemplative

It's been a hard week. All week I have wanted to just crawl in bed, and stay there.

Sometimes events just take it out of you. Mentally, physically, spiritually..and whatever other "ally" there is. My stress definitely manifests itself physically. So this week I've been headachey, nauseous, sick to my stomach, unable to eat, broke out in hives, and my hand is having a hard time moving without hurting.

All of this to say at the same time in the book I'm reading I've been really challenged to appreciate every moment, those I love and live in the now...and in happiness. 

Funny how you can live in 2 complete opposites sometimes. 

*sigh.

I use to vent everything on my mind when I was hurt, mad, frustrated...but now I try to let things simmer before I do. I find that-that way I don't say things I don't mean just to hurt the other person and I give myself time to figure out what I'm really feeling and what I really think. 

I am still not sure if I should 'share' my thoughts and concerns with those who don't want to know them... who knows. 

I have come to a place this week where I have really searched my heart for things that are not right, that need tweaking, fixing, repairing. I do realize and totally admit I am not good with correction when it comes to personal or characteristic things. I've been told this before..and I admit its true. I get hurt, offended...and it does make it hard for those who love me to tell me when I need to change something.

We are so quick to tell others what they need to change and fix, but so justified in why we don't need to.

So I am going to try to be more correctable. 

With that said, my heart is full of love. I and thankful for good friends, a good husband and a God that loves me and sees my heart and understands it. He heals my hurts and covers the ugliness.