Labor Pending...

I didn't sleep a wink last night. Tossing and turning, groaning and moaning. Between the discomfort of my big belly, back pain and contractions.... I seriously thought my water was going to break. 

I've been sleeping on a child's waterproof potty training pad every night... 

morning is here... still pregnant. 

I haven't blogged or made a video in a while for many reasons. Mainly because I didn't want to be negative or be grouch and especially YouTube has become a place where people feel the need to leave negative, dumb comments... which makes me want to just throw in the towel. I've always wanted this to be a positive place....but girl... It might go there today.

I feel like I've been going in a circle of feeling discouraged, anxious, hurt, mad and disappointed about so  many things. Definitely my emotions are heightened, but I wish they were heightened the other way... rainbows and butterflies. that's what I need.

I am google queen. I google everything. I am every doctor's worst nightmare. The self diagnosing and 'searching' would drive any doctor mad. Waltzing in to appointments like I know it all... like THEY who went to medical school could have just stayed home and googled instead of spending all that money and time in school. haha!!

anyways.. my favorite this week is " _________ sign of labor soon?" fill in the blank with: cranky, hungry, headache, backache, overgrown lawn, nailpolish smudged, craving ice cream" you name, I google it. 

The reality is, no one knows when baby will arrive. I was 3 cm dilated with my second for almost 3 weeks... so the numbers don't mean anything.

so the whole "oh you're still pregnant? when do you think you'll go into labor?"

or 

"do you think you'll have the baby this week?" questions are getting PRETTY lame.

I think I'll have this baby before Christmas.... that is my answer. 

so with that said, my last google search was "extreme irritability, sign of labor soon?"