new hope

its been a rough week. had quite a few false alarms. went into labor and delivery just to get sent home. on thursday my stomach was so painful all day so finally we called my husbands parents to come watch the kids so we could go in at around 10pm. went to labor and delivery, they told me i was 2 cm and 70 % effaced so to go brisk walking around the hospital for an hour and come back. i did, came back and they sent me home. told me i wouldn't make it to my appointment the next morning because they were convinced i would be back sooner. got home and then started throwing up like i've never thrown up in my life. there was so much force it literally hit the toilet and back out all over the walls behind me. my poor husband. after rounds of that i laid down with a fever, good thing his parents were there. i guess at the same time my daughter had started throwing up too (my son already had it) so needless to say it was really long night. woke up to my doctor's appointment where she said was 2.5 cm... that's progress right? went home and then my husband got sick. throwing up... fever.. the whole shabang. so with people lying all over the ground and buckets everywhere, for the first time i thought... hmm.. maybe today is NOT a good day to have a baby!!! so my husbands mom decided to stay to make sure we all recovered well. on Sunday i had to miss church.. which made me feel so weird, i never miss church. that evening we thought, hey..i've been having a lot of contractions, maybe i've progressed... lets try going in again. when we went in, the nurse wrote our names on the board and wrote "welcome baby girl evie" so it made me feel so optimistic that it was happening. the doc came in and said " you're only 1 cm". WHAT IN THE WORLD?!?!?!??!?! your cervix doesn't close back up!!! so i had to really fight back my tears.... cried in the elevator and came home.

its so hard when you are so anxious, have hope each day and feel let down. it is so weird, never had any false alarms, painful contractions or discouragament like this with the first two kids. so i feel like its the first time for me!

anyways today is Nov. 1. beautiful day out, i woke up feeling like today would be a good day... Thanked God for keeping her in while we were all sick.... and then pleaded with Him. haha!!!!
so anyways, i am feeling hopeful again today. every day is just one day closer right? i think inside every mom, you just want to see that the baby is healthy and everything is okay.
thought i'd share this song with you to help remind you that God is in control and things aren't so bad!!