I am by nature a high-stress, anxiety stricken, over thinking, hypersensitive, emotional woman.
It's something that I have always struggled with, since childhood. Needless to say it presents itself every day in every situation. I always thought it was just something that was a part of who I was...and I, along with anyone who was near me, just simply had to deal with.
I had an enlightening moment not that long ago. As long as I accept that it was a part of me and I couldn't break up with it... it was going to ruin family vacations, fun events, birthday parties, moments with my children and communication with my husband. Then I thought, I can't live like this. I have to change.
Me and stress, we need to break up.
It's hard to re-wire yourself to think in a way you've never thought before and to go against what seems normal and natural. I started noticing people around me who didn't seem to get so uptight, high strung and worked up over things. They had a lot in common. They laughed a lot, they let things roll off their shoulders... really, they didn't make anything a big deal. what?! to me EVERYTHING was a big deal. From socks left on the ground, to garbage not taken out... everything was infuriating to me. Why didn't everyone see the urgency and importance of everything I did? I noticed throughout the day all these little things built up and built up. I could feel my blood pressure rising.
when I had this "enlightened" moment I realized, all those things, they don't matter. People matter. My relationship with my kids matter. The state of my marriage matters. Those "things" don't matter.
What is the point of having a perfectly packed suitcase with nothing missing if I'm chewing out my husband or snapping at my kids in the process. Ruins the point of a nice family getaway doesn't it?
So now when I wake up in the morning I try to take a moment. An extra moment if I wake up grouchy, and I breathe. Deep breaths. Close my eyes and Thank God for all He has given me. I tell myself, nothing is a big deal. Choose happiness. Choose joy. Choose love. Nothing is a big deal. Relax.
I tell myself this repeatedly throughout the day. Relax. It's not a big deal. Don't hurt your kids heart or your husband's feelings simply because YOU are stressed. Laundry can wait, dishes can be dirty... you can be late... THEY matter.
Do I still feel stress? yes. Do I feel the anxiety creeping in and the frustration build? yes. But I'm aware of it now. As long as I'm aware of it, I have a better chance of fighting it.
Light a scented candle. Play some uplifting music. Dance for a second with your kids. STOP what you're doing, listen to what your kids are telling you. Give your husband a hug. smile. laugh...nothing is THAT big of a deal.
I am blessed. I am thankful. I choose joy.