Monday, December 27, 2010

humble hands

This Christmas eve I lost my grandmother who was so precious and dear to me. She was so many things to me that I cannot fully grasp that she is gone. I contemplated writing about it, but thought it might help me sort out my thoughts and fully accept things more.
I grew up with my grandmother, in many ways she raised me. When I was young she lived with us and shared a room. I loved her.

humble. sweet. quiet. loving. hard working. giving. beautiful... so many words come to mind. She woke every morning and sang her favorite hymns, prayed and read the word aloud. Every night she did the same thing. The sound of her reading and praying is so clear in my mind and such a comfort to me. She was shy, kept to herself.. never wanted to inconvenience anyone.. always served.

Her passing came as a shock to all of us. Knowing we only had days, I was blessed to be able to sit by her bedside and hold her hand. share good memories, apologize for things I could have done better, and thank her for instilling in me so many fundamental truths that made me who I am today. With her kids, with her grandkids... she always loved. Even when we were unloveable... she loved.

She went to be with the Lord on Christmas Eve as family sang her favorite hymns. Fitting that the next day was Christmas. This is why Jesus came... so that beautiful souls like her could live in eternity. What a beautiful lady.

My heart is sad because she is no longer here, but my spirit is happy to know she is with the Lord. There is no more sadness, sorrow, hurt, worry or pain. Just praise, dancing and love.

What a lovely lady... I miss her...and love her so much. Thankful for the life she lived and that she was part of mine. words cannot say enough....sarang hae yo halmuni....

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